


In your skin

by obviouslyelementary



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Child Abuse, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Physical Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-20
Updated: 2016-11-16
Packaged: 2018-07-25 16:29:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 16,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7539775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obviouslyelementary/pseuds/obviouslyelementary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James wants to spend the winter break with Lily, but she still hates him. He makes a plan to change bodies with Snape during the break, knowing that the two live close and spend time at each other's houses, so he can be with Lily and find out if anything is happening between the two. During that time, Severus spends some time at the Potter's against his wish, worrying about what might happen with James and Lily during the break.</p><p>or</p><p>James and Severus change bodies and end up finding out that life is not always what it seems.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Polyjuice Potion

“James, are you sure about this?”

The Gryffindor rolled his eyes, looking at his friend Remus with an annoyed expression.

“Come on Moony. It’s not like I’m doing anything bad. I want to spend more time with Lily, and she won’t even know I’m there. She will think its Snivellous. Also, I’ll find out if they actually have anything going on” he said, frowning lightly. That thought made him want to puke. Sirius laughed, shaking his head.

“She won’t know, but you will. Will you be able to be Snivy for two weeks? And also, how were you able to do a potion that will work for two weeks? Seriously, that’s a long, long time” he said, tilting his head while the other two also looked at James curiously. He chuckled and picked up a book.

“I stole this from Snape. His potions book. Obviously if someone had found a way of prolonging a potion, would be him. And he did. It’s written right here: ‘to make a polyjuice potion last longer, you only need to add three leaves of the Whomping Willow’. That’s easy for us. So I collected it and I already did the potion. It’s ready to be used. I also got one of his greasy hair and my own. Now we need to make him drink my part of the potion. That’s the hardest part” he said, rubbing the back of his neck and then smirking. “And I know exactly how”

“Are you sure this will work, Prongs? You know that means he will spend Christmas with your parents, right?” Remus said, still not liking that idea all that much, but James just shrugged and smirked.

“Yes, I know. But he won’t tell them anything. I know he won’t” he said easily, before lifting up the bottles with the potion. “Now lets go”

 

It wasn’t hard for them to find Snape. Just like always, he was walking with his Slytherin friends on the hallway when the Marauders saw that greasy hair and huge nose in the distance. James smirked to the others and nodded, before the four boys rushed to where the Slytherins were sitting.

“Hey, Snape” James said with a smirk, making the other roll his eyes and look up.

“Yes, Potter?”

“I didn’t know you had a sense of superiority. ‘The Half-Blood Prince’? Seriously?” he laughed out, holding up the potions book he had stolen. Snape stood up with anger clear on his face.

“I should have guessed that it was you. Give it back. It’s not like you’re interested in potions anyway” he said, walking closer to James, who simply laughed and hid it behind his back. Snape rolled his eyes. “You’re so immature Potter. Give it back”

“Come get it, Snivy. You know we like playing games” he said with a smirk, before throwing the book to Sirius. Snape growled deeply and raised his wand, making the marauders do the same. No one trusted Snape with a wand. 

“You want to play games, Potter? Fine by me” he said easily, and at the moment, all Slytherins had already left, leaving the five alone in the hallway. That was the perfect moment. James threw a spell on Snape that he easily defended, but as he was distracted, Remus sent another that made Snape fall on the ground, completely asleep. James laughed and kneeled down.

“Did you know unconscious people can still drink things?” he asked, making Remus roll his eyes while Sirius smirked. James poured the potion with his hair inside Snape’s mouth, and then the four of them took the Slytherin to a small room with a few janitor supplies. Inside, James took his own potion and then together with the others, they changed clothes. Now, James was Snape, and Snape was James. His plan would totally work.

And he would spend two entire weeks with Lily Evans. Nothing could be better.

 

When Severus woke up, he was confused. He looked around and frowned, realising that he was inside a closet. Weird. The last thing he remembered was that Potter had stolen his book and he was fighting with the four boys when he blacked out. Maybe they had locked him up. That wouldn’t be new.

He slowly stood up and rubbed his head, but once he did, his hair didn’t feel the same. It was way shorter than it should be. Assholes. They had cut his hair! He started to look for a mirror and when he finally found one, he stood frozen.

He looked like Potter. Exactly like Potter.

Severus growled deeply and looked down. He was wearing Potter’s glasses, clothes, everything! He was Potter! What the hell had happened? Was that a polyjuice potion? Was this a new plan? One day before the winter break?

Oh. Winter break. The time he spent with Lily by her house. Alone. Severus growled. He knew what Potter wanted, but he didn’t know what he would have to go through. He couldn’t let Potter find out about his situation. Not about his house. Not about how broken his family was. He would tell Lily. She would never talk to him again.

He had to end that up as soon as possible.

As soon as Severus left the closet, the four Marauders were waiting for him. But now, Potter looked like him. He was wearing his clothes and everything was the same but that convinced smirk that was so James Potter. It disgusted him to see something like that on his own face. But then again, there was nothing Severus actually liked about himself, so it wasn’t so surprising.

“Good morning Snivy. How are you feeling?” Potter asked, walking closer to him, and Snape backed down, a bit scared and mostly angry. When he searched for his wand, he found nothing. “Oh, don’t bother. You can’t do magic outside school anyway, so we decided to take your wand with us. Also, don’t worry. My parents are lovely people. You will enjoy this vacation so much” he said lightly, and Severus backed up even more. Without his wand, he could never win.

“Potter, you can’t do this. You don’t understand...”

“Yes I do. See, Snape, she likes you and all. You two are best friends. But that’s all you are. Friends. And soon, not even that. But you don’t have to worry. I won’t use this to break your friendship. I like challenges and this would be too easy. Now, if there is any secret between you two... I will find out and I will stop it” he said coldly, and Severus growled at him, standing chest to chest with Potter in his body.

“We have no secret. And I would have no problem with Lily spending winter with you if she wanted to, but she doesn’t, so you have to make up stupid plans just so you can spend time with a girl that you like while she thinks she’s spending time with her best friend. You’re childish and pathetic, but that we all know. That’s not the problem. But you simply cannot go, so stop. I can do a potion to make us go back to normal” he said with a growl, but Potter just smirked again.

“So filled up with excuses. I don’t want to go back to normal. I’m going to the train. Take him boys” he said, and the marauders nodded. Black smirked, lifting his wand.

“Potter! You don’t know what you’re getting into!” Severus tried, but Potter just chuckled and then he was off again. The marauders took him to the train while he was blacked out, and Potter went off to find Lily.

He was so ready.


	2. In the Hogwarts Express

Unlike James had thought, he didn’t spend the trip back to King’s Cross with Lily. Instead, he had to spent hours in a cabin with several Slytherins that he hated, listening to them say shit about Gryffindor and the others houses. He wanted to defend himself, but he knew he couldn’t, so he just stayed quiet for the biggest part of the trip. When they were around half an hour from the station, the wagon’s door opened and a ginger haired girl poked her head in. Lily. Lily!

“Sev? Sev!” she said contently as she saw him, and for a moment James was confused, only then remembering that he was on Snape’s body. Okay, maybe that wouldn’t be as easy as he had thought. He could feel the disgust coming from the Slytherins around him. She walked closer and took his hand, making James’ heart beat faster. She had soft hands. So soft. “Hey Sev. Let’s go to my cabin! We need to stick together so we don’t get lost once we arrive in the station.” She said, and that sounded like the most rational thing he had heard in the entire day.

“Sure Lily. Bye” he said, standing up and pulling his bag from the roof rack. He tried not to sound too happy, since Snape never sounded very content with anything. Even so, he couldn’t help himself when he relaxed as soon as they left the Slytherin wagon. Lily seemed to noticed, because she turned to him with worried eyes.

“What is it Sev? Were they making you do things again? Are they treating you badly?” she asked, and James wasn’t very sure about what to say. He thought Slytherins treated Snape nicely. What would Snape say in this situation? 

“Better than Potter, for sure” he said, a bit nervously, and that didn’t seem to be the correct choice, because Lily furrowed her eyebrows and seemed to get even more worried.

“Potter and his friends are twats. You know that. They will never stop teasing you, will they? It doesn’t matter how many times I tell them to stop, they don’t. I’m so done with having to deal with them” she said, and James felt a bit offended. They weren’t so mean.

“They are not that mean” he said, and then shut himself up. She gave him a confused look and he sighed. “Just... They are childish. They obviously just do it for fun”

“It doesn’t matter Sev. For fun or not, they are assholes. They shouldn’t treat someone bad just because they don’t like said person. Just like Slytherins shouldn’t treat muggleborns bad just because we were born from muggles! They are just as mean as them” she said simply, and James felt his heart hurt a bit. She really hated them.

“Let’s not talk about this. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that we are going to spend winter together, right?” he asked, hoping she changed subjects. She seemed to calm down, finally arriving to the now empty cabin where she was before with her friends.

“Yeah. It will be so fun. I’m just sad you can’t spend New Year with us. But I understand. Your mum wants you there” she said, and James frowned. He wouldn’t spend those two weeks with Lily? What the hell?

“Um yeah... I have to spend a bit of time with my family” he said, and suddenly he started to regret that entire plan. He would have to spend a week with Snape’s family? That would be hell for certain. Lily smiled at him and nodded slowly.

“I just don’t understand why you never let me come to your house” she said, frowning lightly, and he just shrugged. He didn’t know why either. He wasn’t Snape.

“Perhaps this time I’ll let you come. If my mum lets me” he said softly, and Lily smiled widely, jumping on her seat and then hugging him tightly.

“Oh Sev! That’s the best gift you’ve given to me! I’m so excited! I can’t wait to see your house! Ah, this will be the best vacation ever!” she giggled, hugging him tighter, and James felt his body warm up. He just wished she would do that with him too. Snape was so fucking lucky. He hated it. They spent the rest of the trip hugging, her head on his shoulder. 

James wished that trip could last forever.

 

Severus woke up when the trip to the station was almost ending. He was asleep in one of the cabin’s couches, and he could hear voices that slowly became clearer. The marauders. Great. He slowly sat up, rubbing his face and squeezing his eyes to see something. Potter was really blind.

“Here, Snape” he heard one of them saying and grabbed what they had given him. Potter’s ridiculous glasses. He needed to see so he could find a escaping plan. He put them on and looked around, seeing how Black smirked at him while the other two, Lupin and Pettigrew, stared at him a bit worriedly. 

“You three” he growled, and Black shushed him with a chuckled.

“Don’t be so pissed off, Snivy. You’ll have the best Christmas of your life. Seriously. The Potters are great” he said, but Severus wasn’t exactly in a good mood.

“Look Black, it’s not my fault that no one else but you best friend’s family likes you, but believe me, I don’t want to spend a week in the Potters’. Especially looking like their son. So excuse me. I need to find Potter” he said, standing up, and but Black also stood up and pushed him back down.

“You’re not going to find him, Snape. Lily and him are going to her house, you wanting that or not” he said, and then Severus growled deeply, staring at him.

“I don’t care! I don’t care if he wants to spend his entire life with Lily! There are things that I worry more than a useless twat spending time with my best friend!” he said, but Black didn’t hesitate. Lupin, however, seemed a bit taken aback.

“I think we should talk to James and end this story” he said, but Black rolled his eyes.

“Bullshit. Snivellous is only saying that so James gives up spending time with his girl” he said, and Severus growled again.

“She’s not his girl, and I don’t care!” he said, and then both boys that were standing lost balance. The train had stopped. Fuck.

He didn’t have much time. He pushed Black out of his way and ran out of the cabin, looking through the crowd of students that were leaving their cabins to get out of the train. He couldn’t let Potter go. He couldn’t lose him.


	3. Potters and Evans

“We are here! Come on!” Lily said contently when the train stopped. James nodded, smiling slightly at her because he didn’t want to get out of character so much. He had never seen Snape smile anyway. He grabbed her bag for her and she sighed, shaking her head. “I’ve told you several times I don’t need you to go around carrying my bags” she said, but he shrugged.

“They are heavy” he said simply, and she sighed, accepting the help with a smile. The two walked out of the cabin and went right out to the station. She was happy, jumping around, looking for her parents. When she saw them, she giggled and pulled James with her by his – or Snape’s – clothes, taking him to her parents. Mister Evans smiled, hugging his younger daughter tightly.

“Hello princess. I’m so glad you’re back!” he said, kissing her head before looking at James – or Snape, in their perspective – and smiling as well as the ginger girl hugged her mother. “Severus. I’m glad your parents let you spend Christmas with us. Here, let me take those bags. They seem heavy” he said, but James shook his head.

“I’m fine Mr. Evans. Thank you” he said with a small smile, both for his nervousness and also because he thought Snape might smile at that. He wasn’t sure. Mr. Evans, however, seemed to realise something.

“Look! The boy seems a bit more excited this time around! Come on kids, lets go” he said, and the two nodded, following Lily’s parents. Just before the two could go through the wall, they heard someone calling Lily. It was Snape in his body. He seemed to be desperate. Lily frowned and rolled her eyes, holding James’ wrist and tugging him on.

“Ignore him. Potter just wants to annoy us” she said, going through the passage and walking right to her parent’s... vehicle? James had never seen one of those before, but he just ignored his confusion, getting inside and looking at Lily. She smiled back at him and held his hand.

Those would be the best weeks of his life.

 

When Severus saw the two of them walking away, he got desperate. He called Lily and she turned to him, but seemed to ignore his call. Maybe if he wasn’t on Potter’s body! Severus tried to rush after them, but was stopped by someone in front of him. When he looked up, it was a man that looked very much alike Potter himself. Same hair, same glasses, and especially, same smirk.

“Son!” he said contently, and Severus felt the bile coming up to his mouth. When the man hugged him, he felt the intense need to push him away, but he knew that wouldn’t work. There was no way he could go home without his wand or without Lily’s parents. It was better to just accept that he had lost. Potter had won. And now, he was screwed. “Hey, what’s with the sad face? Aren’t you happy to see your parents?”

“Fleamont! Don’t be so mean! Didn’t you see who just passed by?” a woman – who Severus presumed to be Potter’s mother – said with a kind smile, and then winked to him. “Lily Evans was leaving with her parents. Maybe he wanted to say goodbye”

“Oh, sorry son” Mr. Potter said, smiling down at him and ruffling his hair. Severus looked at Potter’s mother and nodded slowly, trying to act casual.

“Yeah, it’s okay. She wouldn’t give me any attention anyway” he shrugged, and the two looked at each other with surprised faces.

“So... You gave up on the girl?” Mrs. Potter asked, looking down at her son as if he had grown another head. Severus was feeling way too uncomfortable on that situation.

“I didn’t give up. But what chance do I have? She never leaves her best friend’s side” he said, wondering if the two knew about him and Lily. Mr. Potter chuckled and shook his head.

“Don’t worry son. If you really want, you’ll have her one day. Just remember to be a gentleman and respect her completely” he said, and Mrs. Potter nodded with a smile.

“Indeed. Now, let’s go. Dinner awaits. I made your favourite” she said contently, and with a shaky sigh, Severus nodded, following that weird family out of the station. 

He wasn’t ready for those vacation days. He didn’t want to spend time with the Potter’s. But he had to admit that perhaps having a normal Christmas for a change wouldn’t be so bad after all.

 

When the car started to move, James tried not to freak out. That thing was weird, it shook worst than Hogwart’s brooms, and as he looked out of the window, he saw everything passing through so slowly that he started to feel nausea. He didn’t say that to anyone, because Mr. and Mrs. Evans were talking and Lily had fallen asleep on his arm. He smiled to himself and closed his eyes, deciding to do the same. The shaking of the box was actually quite relaxing, and soon he was also asleep, holding Lily close to himself. 

When James woke up, he looked out of the window and smiled widely. He didn’t even remember he was on Snape’s body when Mrs. Evans looked back at him with a knowing smirk.

“Missed home, didn’t you?”

James bit his lip and nodded slowly, giving her a shy smile.

Not exactly home, but perhaps it could be, in the future.


	4. Houses and Homes

Just like Severus had imagined, they travelled by Floo Network. He followed Potter’s parents to the closest one in the train station, and in a second, the three of them were standing inside a huge living room. A house elf was already next to the fireplace to pick up his master’s bag and take to where he thought was Potter’s bedroom, and the three of them got inside the house, while Severus admired all of that.

The place looked like a mansion, but way different from the Malfoy’s Manner. It was warmer, cosier. All decorations were yellow and red, just like any Gryffindor’s fanatic would want, but it was beautiful nevertheless. Severus was impressed by how big everything was, and it still had a feeling of home in it. The couch in front of the fireplace was red and so fluffy looking that Severus almost jumped on it to sleep. There was a small wood table in front of it, adorned with gold. A few feet away, there was a beautiful piano. Next to it, the dinner table. There were staircases that probably lead to the rooms and a passage way that lead to the kitchen. The place was amazing.

“What is it sweetheart? Missed it all too much?” Mrs. Potter asked, looking down at him, but Severus didn’t know exactly what to say. Then, he decided to nod.

“Yeah... Sometimes I forget how great it is to have such a good house” he mumbled, and she seemed to be a bit taken aback with the words, but then gave him the sweetest smile he had ever seen in a woman’s face and hugged him tightly. She was so warm. She smelled so good. It really felt like a mother should feel.

“Oh, my boy. Come on. I made your favourite for dinner” she said lightly with a smile, taking Severus with her to the kitchen. Surely he wasn’t comfortable, but it wouldn’t be so hard to feel a bit better with such attentive parents. Potter was lucky. He had no idea how much. But soon he would.

 

When they arrived, Lily was still asleep on his arm. James smiled at her adorable she looked when she was asleep, and then gently shook her to wake her up. She yawned and nuzzled on his arm, smiling lightly.

“Sev? Are we there yet?” she asked, and he felt his heart hurting, once again remembering that he wasn’t exactly himself. He then nodded, trying not to care so much, and put her hair behind her ear in the most delicate way possible.

“Yes. I have to help your dad get everything” he said, before slowly opening the door of that vehicle. She yawned again and nodded, rubbing her eyes and letting him get out before she got out as well. He walked to where her dad was and grabbed their bags, walking with him to the house and being followed by Lily and her mother. Once they got inside, James saw a girl looking down from the stairs and she frowned at him with disgust.

“Ewww. Lily, you brought that freak with you!” the girl said angrily, making Lily roll her eyes and look at him with an annoyed face.

“Don’t mind Tunia. She is annoying like that all the time. You already know. Here. Bring those bags upstairs to put them in your room” she said, smiling and pulling James with her to the rooms. She showed him the room where he would sleep and then pulled her to her own room. It was pink and filled with cute things just like he had imagined. Lily was cute like that.

“What are we going to do today?” he asked quietly, and Lily smirked at him in a way he had never seen her do before. Then, she pulled him to sit on her bed and giggled.

“After dinner, I thought about going to the lake. What do you think?” she asked, and something in her eyes told James that she was being sneaky.

“Will your parents let us go so easy? It’s going to be late” he said, trying to find something that Snape would probably say. She laughed even more and shook her head.

“Of course not, silly. So. Are you up for it?” she asked, and he smirked back at her in a way that was so James Potter. But she didn’t seem to notice.

“Completely”

 

Severus sat by the dinner table, looking around as if everything was new. It was, for him at least. Soon, three house elves started to serve them, giving them their plates. Turned out that Potter’s favourite dish was pork with some kind of sauce, potato chips and soda. That was so... Muggle. The Potters were weird.

Severus waited for all of them to get their plates and started to eat silently. His father had always taught him that talking while eating was rude. But once again, his father always thought that when he spoke, he should shut up. So maybe his father wasn’t the best example. And that was proven right when Mr. Potter looked up at him with a smile.

“So. Sirius is spending the first vacation days over Remus’, right? Did you invite them to spend a week over here?” he asked, making Severus almost spit out his food. The last thing he wanted was the marauders there.

“Um... N-not really. They said all of them were going to travel and I just wanted to spend some time alone” he said, trying to come up with a good excuse. Mr. Potter didn’t buy it however.

“Oh, come on son. You love when they come over! I even bought Quidditch tickets for you and all your friends. It’s USA against France! We have to see it!” he said contently, and Severus knew that was something that Potter would be excited about, so he gave his best smile and nodded quickly.

“I didn’t know that was the case! I will call them right away!” he said, and then Mrs. Potter smiled together with her husband. Severus felt his heart sink, staring at them and seeing how much love they had for their child. He almost felt like crying. Potter took his family for granted. “I’ll just finish eating first”

The two nodded and smiled at each other, and even Severus smiled lightly, an honest smile this time.

So that’s how having a real family felt like.


	5. A lake and a mother

It didn’t take long for them to be called for dinner. James and Lily walked downstairs, smiling contently, finding the Evans and Petunia already sitting on the dining table. Lily and he sat next to each other, and James felt his heart beating faster every time she came closer. Even though he wasn’t being himself, he found out that nothing was so hard now that he was close to the girl he liked.

They ended up dining chicken with salad and juice. Luckily there was nothing that James didn’t like, and apparently nothing Snape didn’t like, since no one asked any questions. They ate in silence, which James found odd, but didn’t comment on. After all, every family did things in a different way, and if he wanted to date Lily, he needed to get used to her family.

After the main dish, Mrs. Evans brought a cake she had done and they ate it with ice cream. Then, Petunia went off to her room and the Evans went to the living room. Lily smiled then, pulling James to her room and looking down her window.

“Alright. Put on some winter clothes. It’s going to be cold outside” she said, smiling, before she started to grab a few pieces of clothing that she would wear. He did the same, going to the other room and looking through Snape’s clothes. At first, he chuckled at how old his clothes looked, but then he realised that he wouldn’t find any fluffy clothes that would protect him from the cold in there. He just accepted the challenge and grabbed every single coat he saw, putting all of them on and then returning to see Lily all cute in all her winter clothes. She looked at him and smiled before nodding. “And now we jump”

Why didn’t this Lily appear in Hogwarts every now and again?

“Sure thing” he said, walking with her to the window. She opened it up and nodded for him to go first. He saw there was a pile of snow down there and jumped down, laughing quietly as he hit the pile and rolled away. Soon, she jumped and looked at him from where she laid on the floor. He reached down and helped her up, watching how red her cheeks were. She was just so beautiful.

“Come on” Lily giggled at him, grabbing James’ arm again and rushing inside the forest. He followed quietly, wondering if she and Snape did this all the time or if it was something especial. He could only wish she knew it was him. He could only wish she saw him as how he really was, and not how Snape told her he was. He wanted to be with her for real, but she never gave him the attention he deserved.

At least he would find out what she saw in Snape.

They arrived in the lake quickly. The lake was completely frozen, and wasn’t even that big. It was a small, good looking lake. James liked it. It was nice. Lily sat by the frozen water and he sat next to her, ignoring how the coldness of the snow was reaching his bum through the clothes. She smiled and leaned against him quietly, playing with the frozen water around them.

“Do you remember when we used to come here when we were younger?” she asked, and James didn’t answer. He had no idea how to. “You taught me how to control water, how to make small waves. We would watch the ice melting when spring came. We did snow balls and snow angels. We watched the stars...” then she stopped, but honestly, he could listen to her talking all day long. “Sev?”

“Yes?” he asked, his heart beating faster when she turned to look at him. Her eyes were so green. So bright. So pretty. She was wonderful. Her lips full and pink from the cold, just like her cheeks, her nose, her hair. She was so perfect.

“I know we are only in the fifth year... But... After all of this is over... You won’t forget about me, will you?”

“How can I?” he asked, but that was James talking. How could he forget her, ever? She was the most wonderful girl he had ever talked to. “I will never, ever forget you. I promise you”

For a second, he honestly thought they would kiss, but then she just smiled and nodded, giving him a kiss on the cheek and standing up. He felt his heart beat so fast he could swear it was leaving his ribcage and jumping to his hand. And then she was gone, and he was simply staring at the most beautiful person he had ever seen.

 

After dinner was over, Severus excused himself and walked off to find Potter’s room. It was easy to find it, since it had Gryffindor and Quidditch all over the place. He would feel sick after two weeks inside that room. He picked up a parchment and started to write to Potter himself. He needed to end all of that as soon as possible. He signed up as James Potter, knowing that Potter would know it was him, and told the owl to give it to the Evan’s. 

Then, he decided to put on some pyjamas and searched for them inside Potter’s closet. He wondered if he should take a shower, but decided against it for the time being and just pulled on more comfortable clothes before searching for a book. He knew that every rich family had a library of their own, so he went off to look for it and soon enough he was standing in front of a huge room with more than thousands of books. That was heaven.

He got inside quietly and started to search for any books he hadn’t read yet. Soon, he found one about Merlin’s history that seemed interesting and walked back to Potter’s room to read it. It was indeed curious. It talked about his early life, how he met King Arthur and so on.

He was so focused in the story that didn’t even hear Mrs. Potter walking inside. When he finally noticed her, he jumped and grabbed Potter’s glasses, looking at her a bit scared.

“Mi... Mum. Mum hey! What are you doing here?” he asked, and she smiled a bit fonder, walking to his bed and sitting by his feet.

“I missed my boy. Just came to see how he is. Since when you’re interested in reading about Merlin?” she asked, and Severus bit his lip. Potter didn’t like to read. Fuck.

“Um... It’s a school project. I decided to start it now” he said softly, and she smiled even more to him. She seemed proud.

“Oh. I’ll leave you to it then. Have fun darling” she said, and kissed his head in a way that his mother didn’t do since he was younger. That touch made him melt on the bed, and he stared at her as if she was the best person in the world. She waved goodbye and walked out, while Severus curled up on Potter’s bed.

He stopped the tears before they could come.


	6. Christmas

After that night, James and Lily did several other things together. They went places that seemed way too intimate, and for the first time in his life, James actually felt like he was going a bit too far. 

Even so, his acting seemed to be on spot. Lily hadn’t once doubted of him and even if he didn’t know one thing or another, he was always careful to talk about it in a moment when she wouldn’t pay attention. He was actually enjoying himself. Of course, being Snape wasn’t good, especially in times like showering or changing. He never wanted to have seen Snape naked, but it could be worst, so he just closed his eyes and pretended it was himself.

Everything was going easy. Then, Christmas arrived and they had already eaten. Lily’s tree was so well decorated that it seemed that the tree itself shone. Under it, there were several gifts. He wondered which one of those were Snape’s. Then he slapped himself internally. He hadn’t bought Lily a present!

“Alright, who wants to open it first?” Mrs. Evans asked, her smile warm and content. Petunia raised her hand as if she was five, biting her lip nervously. Her mum nodded and she jumped over the presents, grabbing the three boxes that were hers. James sometimes wondered if he looked this childish to Lily.

She opened the smallest one first. It was a bottle of perfume that she seemed to love, putting it on right away. It was so sweet that James almost threw up on spot. Then, she opened the next present, smiling widely at the new purse she had on her hands. And then, she opened the last, grinning widely at the pink dress she had gotten. She hugged her parents and also Lily, even if she was still a bit mad about Snape being around. 

Then, Lily opened hers, receiving a brand new book, a green dress and a kit of makeup that she loved. She hugged her parents and sister before returning to his side and showing him everything. James was excitedly waiting for Snape’s present, but he didn’t say anything. After Mr. and Mrs. Evans opened their presents, Lily picked up the last present from under the tree and gave it to him. 

“Thank you” he muttered, opening it up with a small smile. Once he did, his eyes widened and he looked up at Lily, making she giggle and shrug lightly.

“Did you like it? I spent the entire year in the making of that masterpiece” she said, clearly proud of herself. James didn’t want to screw it up so he nodded and gave her a tight smile.

“I loved it Lil”

It was a sweater with the words ‘Severus & Lily’ on the front. 

He wanted to burn it down.

 

It was Christmas, and Christmas usually meant family getting reunited to dinner and exchange presents. 

Severus never liked Christmas very much. He had a very poor family that couldn’t afford almost nothing, let alone toys. So every Christmas, they usually ate together and gave each other presents that were handmade. That, until his father found out about his witch mother and stopped giving presents all together. Sometimes, when he was too drunk, he burned everything they gave or received as presents. That usually ended up with his parents fighting and him running away from home to hide away.

So he didn’t have good memories of Christmas until he stopped going home and started to stay in Hogwarts or went to Lily’s. But this time around, he wasn’t home, he wasn’t in Hogwarts and he wasn’t at Lily’s. No. He was at the Potter’s, and dinner was ready.

Severus hadn’t received any letters from Potter, so he gave up around the third day. Everything was lost. Potter would find out about his family and so would Lily and she would never look at him again. He could handle that, right?

Probably not, but there was nothing he could do.

Severus walked to the dining room and sat on his usual spot, smiling at the delicious smell that came from the food that the elves put in front of them. Mr. and Mrs. Potter served themselves and then Severus did so, putting his plate in front of him and starting to eat. Soon, the three were done with their food and it was time to open up the presents.

Severus walked to the living room with the two adults and the three of them sat around the fireplace, where the presents were. He didn’t know how to begin because he hadn’t brought anything for either of them, and it wasn’t fair, even if they weren’t his actual parents. The two, however, just nodded for Severus to open the presents, and with a long sigh, he picked up the first and opened it up.

He did that was with the first, second, third, fourth, and so on. There were twenty presents for Potter in there. He didn’t deserve any of it.

“Thank you. Thank you very much” he said, looking down at all the clothes and new equipment the guy he hated the most in the world had gotten. The Potters looked at him and shook their heads before they smiled and gave him a tight family hug. Severus froze on spot, feeling his body warming up between theirs, and then closed his eyes tightly, nuzzling against Mr. Potter’s shoulder. His eyes stared to tear up but he rubbed them and sighed quietly.

That was a type of love he would never receive.


	7. Letters and Fun

When Severus woke up in the next day, something clicked inside him and he jumped up. That was Potter’s last day in the Evan’s. They had to talk.

He had no idea why Potter wasn’t answering his letters, but he had to find a way of making him answer, so he decided to write a letter signed with ‘The Half-Blood Prince’, praying for Merlin that he would know who Severus was talking about.

He couldn’t let Potter inside his house. No way.

Potter,

I don’t know why you’re not answering my letters. We need to talk. It’s urgent.

You clearly have spent enough time with Lily and obviously don’t want to go to my house. So here’s the deal: I’ll make a potion to make us go back to normal and then I’ll ask your parents to take me close there. I’ll say I want to visit Lily or something. You meet with me and we take our potions.

Seriously Potter. Answer this letter right away. I need to know if you will go meet me there. We need to solve this.

The Half-Blood Prince.

Severus read that card once, twice, three times, and then sighed. He couldn’t say too much in case anyone else saw it. He didn’t want to be blamed by something he didn’t do.

He gave the letter to the owl and told it to go to Lily’s house as fast as possible. Then, he sat down on Potter’s bed and started to read the potion’s book he kept next to the bed. He knew he would have to do something eventually.

He just hoped it would be soon.

 

“Sev. Sev!” James heard Lily yell, and looked up with a smile. Then, he cut it off. Snape did not smile damn it.

“Yes Lil?” he asked as she got inside the room where he was sleeping. James was packing up after that wonderful week, knowing that he would have to spend a few days at Snape’s. Luckily he was able to bring Lily with him.

“Someone sent Potter a letter! It’s signed Half-Blood Prince. Wow. Potter has a boyfriend now?” she said with a smirk. The words, however, almost made James vomit. Why would she even say that? Didn’t she know that the Half Blood Prince was Sna... She didn’t know. He was trying to contact him.

“What is it saying?” he asked, trying to sound casual while he packed his bags. She read it again and shrugged before giving it to him.

“Something about Potter meeting this Prince guy somewhere. Clearly Potter and this guy want it to be a secret, because it’s just so random” she said, and as James read the letter, he frowned. What did Snape want? James didn’t want to go back to normal. Not yet.

He had to admit that being Snape was fun.

“Well, this is Potter’s right? Send it to him” he said simply, shrugging at her, and Lily nodded, wrapping it up again and sending the owl the Evans had to the Potter’s mansion. James nodded to himself and finished packing, standing up and smiling at her. “Should we go?”

“Hell yes”

 

When an owl came up to Potter’s room, Severus felt a bit of hope growing inside his heart. He opened the window and pulled the letter, only to see that it was the same he had sent. Growling, he sat down on the bed and rubbed his eyes. He needed to go find them and he needed to go now. Potter didn’t know what it was like. He didn’t know how to deal with parents that didn’t love their children.

And yet, it was either saving Potter from a horrible mistake he had put himself up to, or stay for another week in an incredible house with amazing food and nice people.

“Potter can get through alone. I don’t care. He would make fun of me anyway” he muttered, laying down on Potter’s warm bed and closing his eyes. He didn’t need to worry about a teenager that thought with his smaller head and didn’t think of any consequences.

Because if Potter actually thought that his life was hard, he would learn how to appreciate what he had in one single day.

 

As they were going out, Mr. Evans called Lily and the two started to talk. James stood still against the door of the house, waiting for what seemed like years. After Mr. Evans was done talking to his daughter, Lily came over with a sad face and stared at him as if she was regretful.

“I’m sorry Sev. I forgot that tomorrow is my aunt’s birthday and we are going to her house to spend the New Year. But my dad said I can walk you home” she said with a sad smile, and James’ heart started to speed up. Oh great. He should’ve answered Snape.

“I-it’s okay Lil. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine” he said with a weak smile. She nodded slowly and took his hand on hers, walking out of the house with him. James swallowed thickly and kind of followed her, since he had no idea where Snape’s house was. 

While they walked, she seemed to get even sadder. Something was wrong, but he didn’t want to ask. Perhaps her family didn’t trust Snape’s all that much. Neither did he. What kind of family would have a son like Snape?

What if he had brothers? Sisters? Thousands of small Snapes running around a small, poor house. At least, that’s what he imagined. Especially knowing that Snape’s dad was a muggle. Yeah, he knew Snape was a half blood. It was quite obvious really, now that he knew what the Slytherin called himself in his books. Snape was never a good secret keeper.

Thinking so hard about his crush’s best friend made James distracted, so when they finally arrived, he ended up bumping into Lily, who gasped while moving forward. She then giggled and looked at him with a knowing smirk.

“Daydreaming Sev?” she asked, and he simply nodded. Easier than explaining the thoughts he was having. Then, he really stopped to look at the house. It was small, dark, and it looked like it could crumble at any minute, which was scary. Some windows were broken, the door was dirty and had a hole in it, and the walls were of pure stone. James felt a shiver run down his spine. That house gave him the creeps. Very Snape like. “Well... that’s where I leave you. Bye Sev” she said, and leaned up to kiss his cheek.

Then, she was gone. She was gone and James was alone. Alone with that falling apart house.

He wasn’t ready. At all.


	8. The Snapes & The Marauders

James made his way in very slowly, afraid that if he touched anything the house would come apart. The place was dark, all windows closed, lights off. He walked to one of the windows and started to open it up, but soon heard a hiss and jumped in the spot, looking back at what he could guess was a living room. From the light that got inside the house, he could see a woman laying on a very old, dirty couch, looking at him just like a cat in the darkness, her eyes filled with hatred and sadness.

“Severus, close this damn window!” she yelled at him, and before James could actually do anything, she sat up and grabbed a bottle of... something... and started to drink it down as if it was water. What the hell? Was that Snape’s mum? “Useless boy. Can’t do anything right. Disgrace. Disgrace to this family” she muttered, probably thinking he couldn’t hear it. James was finally able to move away from his frozen spot, leaving the window slightly open just so he could see where he was going. Soon enough he saw some stairs and ran upstairs, ignoring how angry the woman sounded. She started to yell just as soon as he arrived Snape’s room, if you could call that a room at all. It was a bit bigger than his own bathroom back at his house.

He closed the door and opened the window as widely as he could, ending up with one of its sides falling all the way to the ground. Great. Now he would have to fix that. But the light was worth it, and when he turned to actually see the room, it wasn’t half as bad as he had thought when he first arrived the house.

Different from the rest of the house, Snape’s room was actually quite organized and clean. The walls and furniture were still pretty worn out, but the rest was okay for such a small, weird house.

Snape had several books in different bookshelves, organised by theme and colour. In other shelves, he had mostly ingredients and caldrons, most of them old and rusted. There was a small closet where he probably kept the rest of his clothes, a tiny table with a lamp and a mattress on the floor, with all the sheets and blankets neatly organised over it. It was a nice room. It made James feel a little bit more comfortable in such a weird, dark house.

He slowly put the bag he had brought next to the mattress and sat down on it. It was comfy. At least that. He laid down, pulling the blankets and sheets over him and closing his eyes for a second or two. That was all he was able to do before he heard the door slamming shut downstairs. He was almost sure it had broken.

“Eileen!” he heard a man’s voice yelling and curled up under the blankets. Fuck, he was acting like Peter! He wasn’t a coward! “Eileen get in here NOW!”

Maybe he was. A little bit.

“What do you want, Tobias?!” he heard the woman from before yelling back. Tobias and Eileen. Were those Snape’s parents?

“How many times have I told you not to drink MY DRINKS?!” the man yelled again, and then James heard something like a bottle hitting a wall and breaking apart. Those people were crazy or what?

“If you bring them home, anyone can drink it, asshole!” he heard Eileen scream again, and then more bottles breaking. “Stop it!”

“I won’t stop it! You stop drinking my stuff and I’ll stop destroying this shitty house of yours!” Tobias yelled back. More glass breaking. Wonderful. “Now, tell me, what else have you been doing here, on Christmas’ night? Sleeping with some stranger?! Cheating on your husband?!”

“I never cheated on you! I was waiting for Se...” she seemed to cut herself short, and then a few moments of silence. That wasn’t good. “No. No Tobias, no!”

“The boy is back” he said, and James could feel the smirk on his face. “Oh yeah right. He returns every year to see his mother. Where is he? I missed my son so much” he said, and James closed his eyes. If only he could use magic.

“No Tob- Tobias!” she yelled, and then there were steps on the staircase. James looked up from under the blankets and waited. And then, the door of the room opened widely and a man taller than James, thin, but strong, and with the face of a murderer, walked inside, smirking widely.

“Look... Who missed daddy?”

 

When Severus woke up the next day, he was surprised he was still on his body. After all, as soon as he met his parents, Potter would do all he could to vanish from that horrible place. But for now, it seemed like Severus was safe.

Or so he thought. In the minute he got downstairs to eat breakfast, he wished he would have stayed in bed all day.

Pettigrew, Lupin and Black were right there, eating with the Potters, engaged in a sweet conversation about nothing in particular. Severus saw a chance to go back upstairs, but it was too late. Mrs. Potter had already seen him.

“Sweetheart! Come over here!” she said contently, tapping the seat next to her with a grin. He tried to smile back and slowly walked to the place, watching as he was served by an elf. He was not hungry. At all. “Your father and I saw you had forgotten to ask your friends over so we did it for you”

“Thank you mum” he muttered, sending killing eyes to the other four. Black just smirked and waved it off while the others blushed. “You know I love to have my friends around”

“Yes I do” she said, poking his nose, and Severus didn’t have the hatred anymore to just continue bitter. Not with such a pure aura around her. All of them returned to their eating after that, but Severus kept an eye of the three, wishing he could just die at the moment. He didn’t deserve all of that.

And he didn’t deserve the knowing smirk Black showed for nothing in this world.


	9. A Cry for Help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed one thing in chapter 5. They are not in the fourth year, they are in the fifth.  
> Sorry!

“How are you, Snivy?” Black asked as soon as the four boys had entered Potter’s room. Severus rolled his eyes and sat down on the bed, saying nothing for now. After that very awkward breakfast, the four decided to ‘catch up’ by being alone in Potter’s bedroom.

“You’re still Snape... You weren’t able to talk James out of it, were you?” Lupin asked, and he seemed a bit disappointed. Severus shrugged. By now, Potter had already learned his lesson.

“No, I was not. And now he’s probably at my house” he said seriously, looking at the window. He didn’t wish to be there in Potter’s place but... He felt a little bad for not actually doing anything to stop it. He was used with his father and mother. Potter was used with luxury and love. “Paying all his sins”

“What?” Pettigrew asked, his eyes wide. The boy was afraid of everything. Severus wondered how the hell he was put in Gryffindor.

“Yeah, what do you mean by that Snape?” Lupin asked, while Black just rolled his eyes. He probably thought Severus was lying or making it sound worst than it really was.

“Nothing. I mean nothing. Now please leave me alone. I know you three don’t want to be around me and the feeling is reciprocated” he said coldly, to which Black rolled his eyes once more.

“You’re not stupid. We can’t just simply stay away from you. This is James’ house and his parents would notice. So we will have to put up with you and you with us” he said simply, smirking down at him. Severus could feel Black’s mind working on a plan to annoy him.

And that was when an owl poked on the window. They looked up, and Severus opened the glass so it could come in. He pulled the letter out of the owl’s beak and opened it up, while the other three boys looked over his shoulders to read it as well.

‘SNAPE

HELP’

 

“Who missed daddy?” Tobias repeated, and James looked up at him just like a prey looks at their hunter. “A cat bit your tongue boy? Talk to me!” the man yelled, leaning down and pulling James up by the collar of the sweater he wore.

Where was Gryffindor when he needed?

“H-hi dad” he gasped out, standing up in front of the guy, that wasn’t that tall, but surely scared him senselessly. He was a head higher than James – in this case, Snape, making him a head and a half taller James’ actual size – as pale as Snape, his eyes dark and mean looking, black bags under them from drinking and not enough sleep, his hair was short and greasy, brown coloured, his nose was huge, even bigger than Snape’s, his mouth was dry and cut in several parts from possible drunk fights, his cheeks were hollowed, he was thin, but clearly strong, with long arms and legs, and he wore clothes that obviously weren’t washed for days and were as old as Merlin himself.

The man was a mess. Suddenly James was very surprised that Snape was like he was, having lived with a man like that all his life.

Then, Eileen entered the room. Now under the bright light of day – morning, almost afternoon – he could see that she wasn’t so different from her husband. A petite woman, skin almost grey, dark brown eyes, black hair, thin body and face, bags under her eyes, bruises and cuts around her arms and shoulders, a dress that was dirty and ripped, lips pale and thin and dry. The pair seemed to be taken directly out of a freak show.

“Tobias, take your hands off him” Eileen said in an angry voice that didn’t even convince James that she actually cared. Tobias looked at her with a growl, letting go of his sweater and going to her direction.

“You keep your mouth shut, woman. It’s not like you give a crap about him either! You like to pretend you’re this great mother figure but I’ve seen how you act when I’m not around! I should get him and get away from you, your freak!” he said, slapping her cheek hard enough to make a red mark. She growled and reached down, but couldn’t find whatever she was looking for, so she walked up to him and tried to slap him back. He was way stronger and agile however, and held her arm up, before pushing her out of the room. “Get away from here woman! This is father to son talk” he said, before closing and locking the door. Oh damn. Damn damn damn damn damn.

“Stop doing that. Stop hurting my mother” James said, but his voice was shaking too much to actually sound like he intended. Tobias, however, didn’t seem very pleased.

“Oh. Now you’re defending that whore? Now that I’m here, trying to be nice, you’re defending that bitch that gave you this... this condition?” he asked, but before he could continue, James raised an eyebrow. Finally, Gryffindor was helping out.

“Condition? Wait a second. Being a wizard is not a condition. It’s normal. Just like being a muggle, or a giant, or a mermaid, or anything else. All those things exist and it’s normal. And you’re the one wrong for thinking it’s a condition. Being a wizard is grea-” James then stopped, because Tobias had had enough of his talking, stopping it with a hand around his neck.

“Shut. Up. Boy. You have a condition, but it can be cured. Yes. I’ve made my research” he said slowly, a creepy smirk on his face. “Doctors call this the Merlin Syndrome. But any and every syndrome can be treated with a bit of shock treatment. I’m just getting the money to send you and your mother to the asylum. Yes. And I’ll be free from the two of you as soon as possible”

James’ heart was beating extremely fast in his chest. In all his years at Hogwarts, not once he had felt so much in danger. Not even when he first saw Lupin as a werewolf. That man, Tobias, was completely mental, and Eileen didn’t seem to help one bit. She didn’t even try to get inside again. He had to do something. He had to get out of there, quickly.

But it was no use. As he tried to escape, Tobias was done with the fun, and gave him a punch on the face that made him fall unconscious on the ground. When James woke up again, it was afternoon, and the window had been surrounded by bars. Magical ones.

He could listen footsteps coming upstairs and grabbed the first paper he saw, writing on it before sending it through an owl that was just by the window.

He needed help, and he needed it now.


	10. When it Clicks

“What. The hell. Is this?” Black asked, looking at Severus just like he was responsible for the world hunger. Lupin shook his head. At least he had a bit of sense.

“Is this from James?” Lupin asked, worry filling up his eyes, and Severus gave a quick look at the owl. Yes. The only owl that was still around after his dad had found out about communication in the wizard world.

“It is. And something is fairly wrong” Severus said, and even like that, Black still didn’t trust him. The boy gave him a look and then looked at the other two.

“I bet he was the one that did this. He wants us to go with him ‘save’ James and then he will make a secret potion and transform them back. But that’s not going to happen Snivy. We are smarter t-”

“Sirius. Shut up” Lupin said, already annoyed by his friend’s distrust. “That’s not Snape’s handwriting. It’s James and he needs us. Snape” he said, now determined, looking straight to his eyes. Severus wasn’t so found of the action. “You are going to take us to your house tomorrow. We will tell James’ parents that you want to visit Lily and they will take us there. But now, you have to tell us what the hell is going on, because you’re looking too calm to not know”

Severus agreed with every part of the plan except... The ending. He didn’t want the marauders knowing about his personal life. Potter already knew more than enough. But then again, if it wasn’t for that letter, none of them would know and he would have just lived the best days of Christmas of his life in a warm and content house.

He really needed to stop caring about people – his family especially.

“Fine. I will tell you. But only you Lupin” he said firmly, and when Pettigrew and Black opened their mouths to complain, Lupin gave them a mother look that made both shut up and leave the room. With a soft sigh, Severus sat on the floor and was followed by the Gryffindor. “Let’s go straight to the point. My father and mother aren’t exactly good parents. They use harsh words, punches, kicks and blackmail to make me do what they want. My father is a muggle that hates my mother and I because we are wizards. My mother takes everything out on me and booze. Basically we are a very dysfunctional family. The problem is that Potter is in there and he doesn’t know how to deal with it”

He finished quickly and avoided looking at Lupin as much as he could, simply because he didn’t want to see the pity in his eyes. He had seen it in many people’s eyes already. Especially muggles that had nothing to do with anything.

“Oh... Well then... We need a plan. A good plan”

Severus agreed.

 

As soon as James saw the owl fly, Tobias kicked the door to the room and entered in it with a wide smirk. He looked even dirtier, gross even, with wet clothes, smelling like alcohol, his eyes dark, angry, and bloody lips and nose. He had been in a fight, but James didn’t want to be in one either.

“Get up, your useless piece of garbage! I need to take you somewhere!” he yelled, and James was quickly on his feet. It didn’t help however, and Tobias still reached out to grab his collar and pull him like a dog on a leash. “You’re behaving so well these two days! I might even give you some bread to eat” he laughed out, darkly, and James swallowed thickly. Bread? Only bread?

Wait. Did he eat at all since he arrived?

Tobias pulled James down the stairs with not gentleness whatsoever, going so fast that he almost fell twice. In the living room, Eileen laid on the couch, unconscious, with a huge bruise on her cheek. He had hit her, the bastard! Out of nowhere, a huge amount of courage filled his veins and he pulled away from the huge man, looking at him angrily.

“Why did you hit her?” he asked, the anger clear in his eyes. He wasn’t even afraid anymore. “She didn’t do anything to you. She’s too weak to fight you!” he yelled, but Tobias didn’t seem up for arguments. He picked James up by the collar of the sweater once again and stared deep into his eyes, their noses inches apart.

“You listen to me and you listen to me well, boy. She is your mother, my wife. She needs to do what I tell her to do, and when she refuses, she gets what she deserves. Understood?” he growled, and for the look in his face, that seemed to be a conversation he had had a lot before. James hadn’t, however, and was ready to fight for it.

“Bullshit! She’s your wife! You’re supposed to love her and treat her well! She will do what you want her to do because she loves you and she likes making you feel good! Now if you’re an asshole all the time, then she will never... look at your face” he said, something clicking inside him. Lily. He himself was an asshole all the time. Not exactly to her but to her best friend. Said best friend that had a mother that did not care about his existence and a father that constantly hit and abused him for being a wizard, something he didn’t even have a choice to be.

Well... Maybe James did deserve all that hatred he received.

He didn’t have time to think more about it, because during the seconds his brain had to make all of those connections, Tobias’ brain calculated the best way to connect his fist to James’ jaw. He felt himself being hit and ended up falling on his back on the ground. The world was dizzy for a second or two before he felt a kick in the stomach and everything came to view again.

Eileen had woken up and was now trying to pull Tobias away from him. The man’s foot collided with his stomach once again, but James reached down and held his ankle, tugging on it in the right time just to see the couple falling back, also on the floor. Everything was a mess, but James was still smart enough to stand up and make a run to the door.

That, unfortunately, still had a very confused but still very awake Tobias.

The man grabbed James’ ankle with no mercy and tugged him down, making him fall to the ground once again, now face down on the floor. He felt when the nose cracked, he felt when the blood begun to spill out, and he also felt when Tobias jumped over him before he blacked out.

He was a fifteen year old boy. There was no way he last in a fight that long. And he still felt pretty proud of himself, even when the world got black and the weight on his body made it hard to breathe.


	11. Our Last Night

“Alright. So here is the plan: Us three will distract Tobias, Snape’s father, as if we were three muggle children trying to get inside his house to steal something. Once he’s out, Snape will go inside past his mother Eileen and get James out of there. Simple, easy done, and James will be out of trouble in no longer than a few minutes” Lupin explained. It was already night when they finally gathered to talk about the plan. Pettigrew gave him a certain nod while Black just rolled his eyes.

“I’m not even going to ask why he’s the one that has to save James because I know I’ll get a snap” he said, making Lupin look at him in a way that even scared Snape a little.

“Tomorrow morning I will talk to Potter’s parents and we will probably go by floo network. There is one abandoned house close to Lily’s that is perfect for us to arrive. It’s called ‘the Prince’s mansion’” Severus said, and the other three nodded. “It’s around three miles from Lily’s house, and my house is around ten miles away from hers, so we will take a while to get there. My house is in a muggle village, so we cannot do any kind of magic, not even the ones that the ministry doesn’t ‘see’” he continued, but at that Pettigrew looked at him with wide eyes.

“There are spells that the ministry doesn’t know we are using under seventeen?” he asked, his eyes shining, and Severus rolled his eyes in annoyance.

“Yes, there are. Most of the non wand needed spells aren’t seen by the ministry. They are not that advanced yet” he said, thinking that would end the subject, but once again Pettigrew opened his mouth.

“There are no wand needed spells?” he asked, gasping, and Severus growled deeply, giving Lupin a stare that was supposed to say ‘shut your friends up before I do’. Lupin got the message quite quickly and turned to Pettigrew with his mother face.

“Very well. We should sleep and rest now so tomorrow we are very awake. My father may not be a wizard, but he knows his way around muggles, and that’s what all of us will be tomorrow. Yes?” he asked, and the others nodded together. “Great. Get your sleeping bags and put them around here somewhere. I’ll be back soon” he said, before he walked out. That would be his last night there for sure, so he walked to the library and smiled to himself when he saw Potter’s mother reading a book about muggle botanic. He walked to her and sat down next to the woman, making her smile.

“What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be with your friends?” she asked, but he just shook his head and laid his head on her shoulder.

“I wanted to spend more time with you. Also, they are showering” he said, and then both laughed lightly. “Can you tell me what you’re reading about?”

“Of course sweetheart. Can you see this plant here? Muggles think it’s medicinal, but ac...” her voice died off as Severus stared at her face. She was so beautiful, like a mother should be. She was nice, warm, sweet, perfect. He watched her lips move as if he was a baby hearing a story before bed, and slowly he ended up falling asleep on her arms, her warmth and perfume making the perfect lullaby.

He had never slept so well in his entire life.

 

When James woke up, he couldn’t see a thing. The whole room was dark, and as he tried to stand up, his head started to hurt so bad he had to lay down again. Slowly, he started to see a bit better and sat up on the bed he was laid on. He stood up slowly, lifting his hand, but as soon as he touched his nose, it hurt so much that he hissed and bit his tongue. It was obviously broken. Damn. He then felt the dry blood under it and sighed.

He walked to the door of the room, but when he tried to open it, it didn’t budge. It was locked. It was locked! With wide eyes, James tried to push it open, kick it, pull it, anything, but it didn’t help. It was locked, and James wasn’t strong enough to break it. Suddenly, a dread feeling filled James up and he gasped out, looking around as the walls seemed to be closing up on him. 

With the last drop of sane thinking, he ran to the window and opened it up. Even though it had bars on it, the light of the moon still lit up the room, and the surroundings made James breathe a little easier. He could see a few muggles walking by and opened his mouth to scream, but then thought twice. Maybe Tobias would hear him and find out he had woken up.

James shook his head and moved inside again. With a shaky, terrified sigh, he sat down on the floor and looked around. Just now he had realised how small the place was. Also, Tobias must have had entered there, because now all the caldrons were scattered around the floor, a few of them even broken, together with the books that were once on the shelves. A few pages were even ripped off. Good thing that James had hidden away Snape’s potion book inside the bag and put a spell on it. He didn’t know who he would find and he knew that losing such a content filled book wasn’t something smart.

And then his heart started to get heavy. He looked around again, once more, another time, and he curled up on himself even more. Was that was Snape went through every break? Did he have to come here, to this house, and spend days, weeks, even months with these people? With people that hated him, called him names, hit him for no reason whatsoever, made his life a living hell for something he couldn’t even be blamed for, and then he would go to school, the only place that he could be happy, away from those people, and there...

There he spent months with people that hated him, called him names, hit him for no reason whatsoever, made his life a living hell for something he couldn’t even be blamed for, and then he would go back here when school was over, and the cycle repeated itself in a way that even made James nauseous. How could he deal with all of that for an entire year? If it was James, he would have probably killed himself already. Snape didn’t seem to have one single thing that made him happy, that lit up his day...

Light. Sun. Lily. Lily...

That was why Snape was always with Lily, never wanting James close to them. He was afraid. He was afraid of losing the only thing that kept him from disappearing, from going to the dark, the only light in his life.

The weight in James’ heart was so huge that he felt himself unable to breathe for a second or two. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before looking out to the moon, hands closed tight around his trousers. He had never thought how bad he was actually being. How mean he was to Snape. He never even gave himself the time to actually find out why Snape seemed to hate him so much. Everything made sense now. Everything was fitting in place. And he felt horrible. He felt like a monster. He hated himself so much. 

He closed his eyes again and tried to relax. There was nothing he could do. Not at the moment. But in the morning, he wouldn’t even hesitate.

He had two wands, and he would make use of them. Tobias Snape was going down.


	12. Rescuing the False Prince

In the morning, as planned, the four boys gathered their things – including a potion that Severus had made to undo the polyjuice potion - and walked downstairs to meet the Potters. Severus told them about the visit he wanted to make and soon enough both agreed, just telling him to make sure to return before it was dark. The four boys nodded and walked to the fireplace, telling the Potters that there was a mansion nearby that was abandoned. Once the four were inside, Severus said the name of the mansion and the four of them disappeared in the fire, only to reappear in the fireplace of the mansion.

It was, indeed, abandoned. Pettigrew stayed behind the other three while Severus lead the way, going through what looked like a living room after a hurricane. The whole place seemed to be falling apart, and even the ceiling was broken and had a few pieces missing. It seemed to have been a great mansion, but now it was basically ruins.

“How do you know about this place? It looks almost like the Black mansion. Or the Malfoy manner” Black said, furrowing his eyebrows. “Do you fancy going around finding ruins to explore?”

“My mother is Eileen Prince. She was from the Prince’s family, but my grandfather sent her away when she fell in love with a muggle. My father. When she found out that my granddad wasn’t here anymore, she came back, only to see the entire place in ruins. She brought me here sometimes, told me stories about the old days” Severus explained, shrugging lightly as they made their way through the main hall and out to the gardens. “It had always looked like ruins for the muggles, but now it’s actually destroyed.”

“You are the heir of the Prince’s?!” Black asked, his eyes wide, and while Lupin was also surprised, he didn’t show off that much. Severus simply shrugged it off. He wasn’t very fond of his family in general. Not the Snapes or the Princes.

“Yes I am, but the fortune is nonexistent now. My mother said that she thought it was my uncle, her brother, that stole everything and moved away, but neither of us cared that much.” He said, while they walked out of the gardens and ended up in a small field with a forest not far ahead. “That’s the way to Lily’s. Let’s go”

After that revelation, the four boys stayed silent, but Severus could hear Black’s mind working on the information given. Yes, it was strange to think that little Severus ‘Snivellous’ Snape had been the heir of the Princes all along, but that wasn’t exactly the moment to have an identity crises over it. They walked through the forest, still in complete silence, and then they finally arrived to Lily’s house. They just didn’t expect to run into the girl as soon as they turned back to the forest.

“What the... Potter? Black? Remus? Peter? What are you four doing here?” Lily asked, surprised, and then irritated. “Why are you here?” she asked, again, growling, her eyes on fire. Severus stepped back but then shook his head.

“Nothing, Lily. We have to go” he said, passing by her and being followed by the other three, all of them giving each other worried looks. However, that seemed to be the wrong answer, because Lily got even angrier and ran to them, stopping in front of Severus.

“Wait a second. You can’t just come to my house and pretend this has nothing to do with me” she said, and then looked at the direction they were going. “Wait... That’s the way to Sev’s... What are you all going to do there?” she asked, putting her hands on her waist. Something inside Severus lit up. She was that protective over him?

“I know it sounds rude, Evans, but this really doesn’t have anything to do with you, and we kind of need to go” Black said, walking to her and imitating her pose. With a groan and a blush, she let her arms fall free on her side and then looked at Severus.

“I don’t trust you. I’m going with you four. I don’t want any of you to do anything with him” she said, and while Lupin shared a worried look with Severus, Black just growled and nodded. 

“Alright princess. Lead the way” he said, pushing her forward and nodding for the others to walk. She looked at him angrily but continued to walk whatsoever, being followed by the other four. 

During the way, she tried to take something out of them, but neither of them gave her any indication about what they were going to do. So, after a few failed attempts, she got quiet herself, and the five continued walking through the small forest until they reached the muggle village.

“Here we are. Now, tell me what you are going to do” she said, but then Lu´pin got closer to her and held her hand.

“I promise that it isn’t anything bad. As soon as it is over, we will tell you. Now you need to promise me that you will hide here and wait until we are back. Please Lily” he said, looking deeply into her eyes, and after a moment of hesitation, she nodded.

“Alright. But if you do anything to hurt him, I swear that I’ll get the four of you expelled” she said, and Lupin nodded with a smile. Then, the four boys reunited and passed their plan one more time before the three marauders went off to do what they had to. “Why aren’t you going with them?” she asked Severus, and he looked at her calmly.

“I have to do something else” he said, shrugging, and she nodded, but her face still showed that she didn’t trust them at all. “Don’t worry. Everything will be fine. You’ll see”

For a moment, he saw her eyes relaxing a bit, and he felt dread. Since when did she trust Potter?

Well, he wasn’t exactly Potter after all.

 

When James woke up again, he saw it was already morning. He needed to put his plan into action.

He grabbed his own wand, leaving Snape’s as a backup, and waited behind the door, so when Tobias came up, he wouldn’t see him. He would only use magic if it was absolutely necessary, but he was already guessing it would be. He waited, waited, waited, and after a long time, he heard someone yelling outside the house. He ran to the window, and his eyes widened. What the hell were Sirius, Remus and Peter doing there?!

After a bit of yelling and egg throwing – and James could just see how much fun Sirius was actually having – he saw Tobias walking out of the house with his face redder than ever. He growled to the three boys, who just looked at each other and started to throw eggs at the man. James held back a laugh, but oh boy how his heart was lighter to see them around. Then, the three ran away and Tobias went after them, being closely followed by Eileen. And then...

Then he saw himself coming out of the bushes and rushing to the house. Wait. Was that...

Snape had received the letter.

Snape was there to help him.

James had never been happier to see that bastard in his entire life.

 

When Severus saw his parents running behind the three boys, he rushed out of the bushes and walked inside. He looked around the house for a few seconds before he ran upstairs. When he tried to open his room’s door, it would budge. Magic. How the hell had his father convinced his mother of locking him up on his room? Or maybe, she hadn’t.

With a sigh, Severus focused all his attentions on remembering where his mother used to hide her magic key. She used it when he was little to protect his room from anything that could harm him. Then, he remembered, and walked closer to the door.

“Potter?” he asked, and then heard someone coming closer.

“Snape? Oh thank Merlin you arrived! I-”

“Shut up and listen to me. We don’t have much time. Can you see a small scratch on the wall next to my bed?” he asked, and waited.

“Yes. I see it”

“Go over there and put your hand inside. It’s a magic portal” Severus said, looking at the door in front of him. “Inside, you’ll find a key that will open the door.”

“On my way Snape” Potter said, and Severus waited. After a minute or two, the door opened, and the two of them stared at each other for a few seconds. “Wow. I look great”

“And I look like shit. Come on Potter” Severus said, but before they left, Potter grabbed Severus’ wand and gave it to him. Then, the two of them ran as fast as they could outside, looking around and checking if there was anyone coming. When they saw it was clear, they ran to the bushes, where Lily was hiding.

When the two stopped, they looked at each other and both chuckled. Lily, however, stood up with wide eyes, and walked to Potter with trembling hands.

“What on earth happened to you?”

Well... That was a long story.


	13. When the Fight Comes to an End

The two boys stared at each other for a long, long time, while Lily looked between the two with worry and anger. Then, Severus decided to make up a lie – something Slytherins were great at – but was cut short by James.

“This is all my fault” he said, and Lily frowned deeply.

“You’re hurt and it’s your fault? I don’t see how that fits in Sev...”

“I’m not ‘Sev’. I’m not Snape. I’m... I’m James Potter” he said slowly, and even Severus was a bit surprised. She stared at the two of them, now completely confused. “And he... He is Severus Snape”

“W-what? I don’t...” she mumbled, and James simply sighed.

“I made a plan so I would be able to spend winter break with you. I made a polyjuice potion and stole Snape’s potions book so I could make it last longer, and then I made him drink it” he explained, and then looked at Severus. “And I bet he brought a potion to undo this”

“You’re correct” Severus said, taking out of his pocket two bottles. Lily took one in her hand and analysed the liquid inside. It did seem like an undoing potion. Clever. They had just learned how to make it.

“I... I can’t believe...” she mumbled, and then looked at James angrily. “I can’t believe you did this! Seriously Potter?! Are you that desperate?! And... Oh... Now it makes sense that ‘James Potter’ would send ‘Severus Snape’ letters doing the winter break! Sev was trying to fix it but you kept lying to me! How do you want me to be your friend if you can’t even talk to me like a normal person, Potter?! Drink this potion already so I can talk to my best friend alone!”

With a sigh, James took the potion from her hands, and Severus looked at him quietly. Then, both drank it up and slowly returned to their normal bodies. Severus gave James his glasses back and he sighed, looking at Lily. He still looked terrible, with dry blood under his nose and mouth, a wide bruise on the jaw and a black eye.

“I’m sorry Lil-”

“It’s Evans for you Potter. Evans” she said, angrily, but before they could start another argument, the three other boys came back, running.

“He’s still after us! Run!” Sirius said, and the six teens started to run away into the forest. After running for quite a while, they reached a field, and no one else was following them any longer.

The three boys looked between Severus and James and then flinched at how terrible James looked.

“Is this you, mate?” Sirius asked, and James let out a weak chuckle, looking at them with a nod.

“It’s me, Padfoot. I know I look terrible, but I’ll be fine soon. Just a bit of muggle bruising” he said, and then Lily came closer.

“That’s also what I wanted to know. Who did this to you?” she asked, and then James looked down at her ashamed, before looking away.

“Snape’s father” he said, and the four looked back at where Severus had been standing all along. He shrugged lightly, because he didn’t really want to see their pity faces.

“I tried to warn you, Potter, but you didn’t listen. You never do” he said, and while James could’ve been angry at that, he didn’t feel angry at all. Actually, he felt worst than he was feeling before.

“Well, I bet you had an excellent Christmas” he said, and Severus chuckled, shrugging once again.

“Your parents are incredibly nice. By the way, your father bought you tickets to the Quiddicht game” he said, looking at James with a smirk. “It’s in your room, over the desk. Also, I stole one of your books”

“It’s fine. I don’t read them anyway” he said back, and then looked awkwardly around. “Well I guess now we... Are going back to normal hun?”

“Yeah. I should be going. Crazy father is waiting for me” Severus said, turning around, but a hand stopped him from moving. He looked back, expecting to be Lily, but it was actually James’ hand that was holding him back.

“You can’t go back in there. Are you crazy?” James said, while all the others nodded in agreement but Sirius. Severus chuckled and smirked to James, amusement in his eyes.

“Please Potter. I’ve lived in there for fifteen years. I think I can handle three days just fine. I’m not a spoiled brat like you” he said, before pulling his hand away from James’ grip. The Gryffindor just shook his head and pulled away, still staring at him with a bit of concern.

“Alright then. You do what you want”

“Sev” Lily then said, rushing to him and holding his hand. “You can stay over. You don’t have to go back”

“Don’t worry Lily. I’ll see you in three days” he said, giving her a quick hug before walking back into the forest. The red haired girl watched him leave before she turned to the other four with an angry expression. 

“You four, get out of here now!”

While the other three walked off quite fast, James looked at her quietly before walking behind the others, looking like a kicked off dog. She would never, ever like him, and now he knew why.

He had two years and a half to fix everything he had done wrong. And he would. He would fix it with her and especially with Snape.

Especially with Snape.


	14. Epilogue - Obliviate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's the end of this fic! It was an idea I had with my friend at school and I decided posting it for real!  
> This is my first completed fanfic and I'm so, so glad because of it! I'm so excited to start writing more, longer things!  
> I know it's not long, but I actually needed a plot and it was very interesting to write something that wasn't an oneshot for a change! I'm glad you read this and I hope you continue reading and writing fics, because they are great!  
> And never, ever doubt yourself!
> 
> Now go read this sh*t!

Three days after all that mess and the six teens were back at the Kings Cross station. The Marauders were waiting by a pillar and as soon as James saw Lily and Severus walking through the entrance, he knew he had to talk to them. He told the other three to wait for him and walked to the pair, receiving death glares from Lily as he came closer.

“Can I talk to you for a second? Alone?” he asked Severus, and while Lily opened her mouth to complain and probably argue with him, the Slytherin nodded slowly.

“Of course” he said simply, walking with him to a place a bit far away from the crowd that was forming around the train. It would leave in twenty minutes. They still had time. “What do you want, Potter?”

“Actually I... I wanted to give you something. I bet you’ve already found the sweater Lily gave you for Christmas yeah?” he asked, and Severus nodded. A great sweater. He liked it very much. “So... I realised that you don’t usually receive Christmas presents so I... bought you something”

If both of them weren’t incredibly embarrassed with those words, it meant that they were dead by now.

“You don’t have to buy me things Potter” he said, but soon James was taking a box out of his bag and giving it to Severus.

“Use it well” he said, before giving him an uncomfortable smile and walking out. Severus watched him in complete confusion before opening the box out of curiosity. When he did, however, his eyes widened and he closed it up again.

He would never thank James for anything, but that surely was an incredible gift.

Severus used a spell to make it smaller and put it inside his own bag before walking to the train. When he did, he saw the way James and the Marauders watched him and felt weird. It didn’t feel good. Only now he realised that the four boys knew about his worst secret.

He went inside the train, put his bag in his cabin, and went after Lily first. He saw her talking to her friends, and slowly moved closer, but not close enough to draw attention. Pointing his wand at her, he sighed and waved it lightly.

“Obliviate”

He didn’t stay there to see the vacant stare she would give her friends. He didn’t want to call attention. Then, he went looking for the Marauders’ cabin, and once he found it, he stopped and made a spell so they wouldn’t see anything through the glass of the cabin. He lifted his wand once again, pointing to the middle of the room, so he would get the four of them at the same time, and waved his wand.

“Obliviate”

After a few seconds of vacant stares, the four of them looked at each other and frowned.

“How did we get he.... Snivellous?! What are you doing in our cabin!” James asked, standing up with a smirk on his face. “Missed our games during the winter break, did you? Don’t worry. We can start one n- Lily!” he gasped out, while the red haired girl stared at them angrily.

“You’re not going to do anything. Come on Sev” she said, pulling his sleeve and taking him away from the cabin. “You can’t just go around looking for trouble Sev! I know they are annoying, but that doesn’t mean you have to tease them all the time! Just... Ignore them yeah?” she said, pulling him to an empty cabin and sitting down with him in front of her. “So tell me, how was your break?”

Severus let out a sigh and then gave her a weak smile.

“It was so good that... I didn’t even feel like me”


	15. Chapter 15

SORRY! I completely forgot about telling you guys what was the present James got Severus!

It was a big silver caldron with the Slytherin symbol on it, and a new sweater!

And thank you for liking and talking about my story! I thought for a long time about ending it all in a happier way, but I wanted to make it cannon, and there was no way James would continue making fun of Severus after all that adventure.

So there's that! If you guys ever want me to do an alternative ending where they end up friends (or almost friends), leave some comments! If not, thank you for reading!


	16. Epilogue - Friendship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The alternative ending you asked. Have fun!

Three days after all that mess and the six teens were back at the Kings Cross station. The Marauders were waiting by a pillar and as soon as James saw Lily and Severus walking through the entrance, he knew he had to talk to them. He told the other three to wait for him and walked to the pair, receiving death glares from Lily as he came closer.

"Can I talk to you for a second? Alone?" he asked Severus, and while Lily opened her mouth to complain and probably argue with him, the Slytherin nodded slowly.

"Of course" he said simply, walking with him to a place a bit far away from the crowd that was forming around the train. It would leave in twenty minutes. They still had time. "What do you want, Potter?"

"Actually I... I wanted to give you something. I bet you've already found the sweater Lily gave you for Christmas yeah?" he asked, and Severus nodded. A great sweater. He liked it very much. "So... I realised that you don't usually receive Christmas presents so I... bought you something"

If both of them weren't incredibly embarrassed with those words, it meant that they were dead by now.

"You don't have to buy me things Potter" he said, but soon James was taking a box out of his bag and giving it to Severus.

"Use it well" he said, before giving him an uncomfortable smile and walking out. Severus watched him in complete confusion before opening the box out of curiosity. When he did, however, his eyes widened and he closed it up again.

He would never thank James for anything, but that surely was an incredible gift.

Severus used a spell to make it smaller and put it inside his own bag before walking to the train. When he did, he saw the way James and the Marauders watched him and felt weird. It didn't feel good. Only now he realised that the four boys knew about his worst secret.

He went inside the train, put his bag in his cabin, and went after Lily first. He saw her talking to her friends, and slowly moved closer, but not close enough to draw attention. Pointing his wand at her, he sighed and waved it lightly. However, before he could say anything, someone held his arm and he turned around to see James behind him, giving him a soft, but sad smile.

“Snape. Don’t” he said, calling Lily’s attention. She turned around and looked at them, before crossing her arms and frowning at Severus.

“What are you doing with that wand in hand, mister Snape?” she asked, and while Severus just wanted to hide away, James chuckled lightly, just as the other three Marauders stopped behind him.

“Don’t worry. He’s not doing anything” he said, and Severus looked at James with a soft frown on his face. “Don’t be mad. I know what you were going to do. Relax. We aren’t going to do anything about it. I mean... Tell the school. You don’t have to erase our memories” he explained, and Lily’s eyes widened before she nodded and held her best friend’s hands.

“Yeah! Even those dumbasses wouldn’t have the courage to use it against you” she said, and Severus groaned, moving away from all of them, getting inside an empty cabin. He was followed by the five, and Peter closed the door behind himself after all of them were inside.

“I know you won’t! For Merlin’s beard...” he muttered, rubbing his face with his wand still firm in his hand. Then, he turned around and pointed the object to their direction. “I can use one spell in all of you”

“Oh, I know” James chuckled and stepped forward, making all of them surprised at his attitude. “I know. I spent time as you. You’re not weak. I promise. And it’s not coward to run away when things are too much. Just... look. We are never going to be friends. But let us help” he said, moving even closer and placing his hand over Severus’ shoulder. “Please”

“Please” all the other four asked, together, ad Severus stared at them quietly before sighing and lowering his wand, shaking his head.

“I hate you Potter”

“I know, Snivy. I hate you too”


End file.
